The Eulogy of Thomas Sawyer
By: Mary Kjendal
Class: Lv. 5.1 Literature
Issue: Set to Appear in December 2020 Edition
Given by Thomas’ Sunday school teacher from the St. Petersburg’s pulpit
Dear brothers and sisters in the Lord living in this humble town of Missouri. I thank you all very sincerely for coming to commemorate the solemn occasion of the departure of Thomas Sawyer from this life. He was a fine boy, brought up by a fine lady. Polly, you were very good to him, and I am sure he never forgot your kindness towards him. Now, I knew Thomas quite well. His antics, his tricks… I can never forget them. He was inventive, imaginative. I would like to share a story with you, one that really moves me.
One blessed Lord’s Day, Thomas came into Sunday School minutely tardy. He was panting hard, and sweat was trickling off his face. I asked him rather calmly if I could get him a glass of water, and he replied, “No sir, I can water myself with my tears, sir. Thank you very much, though, sir. I can make do without any.” I was fully flummoxed, but I quite pitied him, so I asked him what the cause of his tears were. “A cat died, sir – ” here Thomas broke out in a sob. (It was so very moving, and I… I’m sorry, let me continue.) Thomas then continued, “ – and I wasn’t able to keep it!” Now I was entirely confused, but as I have a soft spot for small boys, I gave him a gumdrop – of sorts – and let him give the first Bible recitation. From my story, of course, you see how tender Thomas was, as he so wanted the poor cat to live, and he was very ready to endure his suffering by himself, instead of interrupting the lesson further (for if I had not asked him he wouldn’t have told me what the matter was). He was certainly a dear boy.
I think that he would want the town to raise the wages of all the teachers, seeing as how Thomas loved all of us a great deal. I chose this particular Bible verse for him because its the one that he memorized. The only one. The verse is, “Jesus wept.” Thank you all for coming, thank you parson for allowing me speak, and thank you, Polly, for raising a boy whose memory will be eternal.